Reaching deep into the back of a kitchen cabinet and feeling around for a notepad, I stumbled upon a treasure. Six o'clock, the dinner hour and my pantry was empty...obviously it was past time to prepare a grocery list. But I made a feeble attempt anyway.
As I brought the thin, small post-it notepad from the recesses of the dark cabinet, I noticed scribbles on the first page. But not just any scribbles...they were her scribbles! Page after page...a message written a couple of years ago from my angel. And today is the day her message found me
For a moment I unmistakably heard her delightful, teenage voice shouting to me from the scribbles..."Hi Mom!"
And then I wept...big heaping, body shaking sobs!
It's Spring and I ache for her...similar to the ache I feel in the Summer, and the Fall and the Winter. A giant hole torn in the fabric of my life, losing a child is the hardest thing I've ever done...and continue to do. Surrendering to grief's icy grip, I let go of my usual brave face for a while...because sometimes it's OK to let go!
Sometime in the past couple of months The Teenager grew about 6 inches and blew past me in height. Now I'm the shortest one in the family, except for Olivia and Henry.
Practically overnight I had to start shopping in the men's department for him. Now I have to know his neck size when I buy him a white shirt.
His heart is tender, his mind is sharp and he's my hero...and not just my guitar hero either!
He ordered a Banana Cream Pie instead of cake for birthday desert.
Am I surprised that he chose to wear this T-shirt on his birthday...no not at all! Like all of us, he misses her every day...but he especially misses his big sister on the special days.
The advocate general made this video for him...it's hilarious and absolutely worth watching!
Wow we really miss her humor!
What 14 year old wouldn't want this kind of attention on his birthday?
OK...so he's not all mine! Happy Birthday Son...Brother...Friend...Grandson...Chick Magnet...Uncle Chet!