Snow

The view from my window in between the first snowstorms of the season.

Since the first snow is here, happily the ski season will be close behind.  So here are the top 10 ways to prepare.



#10 Go to the closest McDonalds, stand in the longest line, order a     
       cheeseburger and insist on paying $10.00 for it.

#9   Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

#8   Ask your favorite grocery store if you can pay $90 to sit in the walk-in 
       freezer for an hour. Afterwards, burn a $50 bill to warm up.

#7  Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your 
      face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. 

#6  Go to your closet, pile on 10 of your warmest, puffiest layers, and then go 
      jogging.

#5  Soak your gloves in water and store them in the freezer.


#4  Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket, get on a motorcycle and ride 
      fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.


#3  If you wear glasses or contact lenses, start wearing them with glue 
      smeared on the surface.


#2  Buy a pair of army boots that are 3 sizes too small for you, line them with 
      crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes. 


#1  Throw away a hundred dollar bill - RIGHT NOW!


The mountains are calling...