Reaching deep into the back of a kitchen cabinet and feeling around for a notepad, I stumbled upon a treasure. Six o'clock, the dinner hour and my pantry was empty...obviously it was past time to prepare a grocery list. But I made a feeble attempt anyway.
As I brought the thin, small post-it notepad from the recesses of the dark cabinet, I noticed scribbles on the first page. But not just any scribbles...they were her scribbles! Page after page...a message written a couple of years ago from my angel. And today is the day her message found me
For a moment I unmistakably heard her delightful, teenage voice shouting to me from the scribbles..."Hi Mom!"
And then I wept...big heaping, body shaking sobs!
It's Spring and I ache for her...similar to the ache I feel in the Summer, and the Fall and the Winter. A giant hole torn in the fabric of my life, losing a child is the hardest thing I've ever done...and continue to do. Surrendering to grief's icy grip, I let go of my usual brave face for a while...because sometimes it's OK to let go!
