Five

Dear Jocie,

Today marks five years or 1,825 days or 43,800 hours which equates to over 2.6 million minutes that have crept by since you left us for heaven. My heart records every single tick of the clock as a scar; invisible to most but entirely suffocating to me. Sitting just a few feet from your room as I write this post, snow is gently falling and I can't help but remember every detail of your last morning with us. How giddy you were to be on the mountain for a beautiful Spring ski day. Wearing an In-N-Out t-shirt and basketball shorts over base layer; long red hair bouncing...you bounded down the stairs for breakfast. 

Five years...it can hardly seem possible. You have missed SO much of us just as we have missed SO much of you! 

I want you to know that even midst so much sorrow...joyful and happy times have weaved their way back into our world. Our family has been blessed to welcome the miraculous addition of baby Olivia Jocelyn 

and twice blessed to witness baby Henry's miracle arrival just 6 months later. Your Mom and dad are grandparents...which makes you Auntie Jocie, can you believe it? 

And your big sister is a mother, an incredible mama. Her once structured life now chaotically revolves around two little people. You would be so proud of her, I know we all are! Cass regularly tells her babes about Auntie Jocie and the millions of memories you made during your short life.

These little ones have stolen our hearts. 

Sometimes their antics remind me of you...especially Olivia. For she is a girly girl who loves to dress up, adores all amounts of sugar, and thrives on teasing the dog along with her baby brother. Sound familiar?

Speaking of your baby brother, he is no longer little. Next month he'll be driving a car and going out on dates. Chet is now older than you were when you left us...such a difficult thought for me to navigate. Oh how I wish you were here to tease him and wrap you freckle kissed arms around his manly shoulders and squeeze him tight. The two of you would be knee-deep in music, skiing, and shenanigans...I'm certain of it.

Your dad is still the man of my dreams. Although he has experienced overbearing pain and grief from your loss...he has also found strength to smile again. Just like always, he continually makes me laugh.

Last year he proved to all of us that he is still a pretty tough guy. But beneath that strong exterior lies a daddy heart that beats a little quieter since you have been gone. 

Every single time his skis lay tracks across freshly fallen mountain snow, I know he longs to turn his head and see you following close behind. Instead he settles for your spirit trailing next to him.

The Garlick sisterhood of the brown one, the blond one, and the red one is noticeably incomplete without you Jocie. Much like a three-legged stool missing that third leg, the balance is not quite the same. I know their loss is different than mine.

Living in LA now, I refer to Dione as lawyer girl. She is just a few months short of finishing law school at UCLA. Her commitment and achievement in accomplishing this law degree amazes me. You would love her new pooch Dorothy, she is sweet and adorable and just a tiny bit mischievous. 

As for me, I stumbled innocently into the world of photography and have become enamored with the view of the world through a lens. At hundredths of a second, I capture and subsequently savor the important moments of our life. I am a blogger...not the typical mommy blogger...more like a sad mommy blogger learning to live again. Establishing a presence on the internet has introduced me to photographers and bloggers all over this small world...wonderful people I am so lucky to call my friends. My journey through grief these past five years has been buoyed up through their constant love and continued support.

Admittedly, I would give anything to see your blue eyes dancing in my viewfinder. But it is your spirit that urges me forward each and every day. I miss you enormously!

Believe it or not, we keep bees,

raise chickens,

and have even found a way to continue your legacy.

 This family makes you part of everything we do and everywhere we go.

 But most of all today on this milestone awful anniversary, I want you to know dear sweet child of mine...that we are OK. That although this photo is missing our red-head...

you are never absent from our hearts.

Love, Chet, Dad, Mom, Dione, Olivia, Bob, Cassandra and Henry

PS...And thank you for the snowflakes, I think they are a sign of your love showering down on everyone who misses you today.

Finding Meaning Amidst March Winds

March is here...thirteen days of it so far. The slight breeze sweeping along winter brown grass brings a  promise of Spring days to come...along with a clear memory of that breezy March day almost four years ago. The reminders are fiercely forefront in the air, the soil, and my Mamma heart. Yearning for The Red One swells.

Gorgeous, brilliant eighteen year old Allisa passed away from a brain tumor just two months ago...meeting her parents both warmed and tore at the scars of my heart. As new members to the Lost Child Club, Allisa's Mom and Dad appear strong, vibrant and thriving. They are amazing; focused on the important details of living a genuine life after such devastating loss! In keeping with the purpose of jiggystick we surprised them with a unique memorial jiggystick honoring their daughter, a small gift for her friends and family. A one of a kind label designed just for Allisa...favorite colors, favorite berry, and favorite flower...Gerber daisies. Jocie's favorite too!

We discussed the life and death of two young beautiful girls and the impact of a legacy cut short but immortal just the same. And finding meaning in a world absent of our daughters.

A big thank you to an incredible group of on-line photography friends from Snapshots of A Good Life.  Their encouragement, love for me and support of jiggysticks has been overwhelming. They are the dearest, sweetest girls I've never met!

The Alissa Berry Berry jiggystick...just what I needed on this breezy March day. It's bright and cheery...filled with love...just like Alissa!

Not Going Home

Go big or Go Home...a mantra The Red One not only claimed on a regular basis, but something she lived completely every day of her fifteen short but remarkable years among us. From her passion for skiing to her love for girlfriends...Jocie always went big.


I suppose that when Dean first concocted the idea of jiggysticks and then later put his vision into place, he had no concept how far he would go with this product.  Building a website, working with a graphic artist, and filling a few orders now and then has been completely enthralling.

Over the past year we have perfected the formula, tweaking it ever so slightly until it's sublimely perfect. I claim the distinction of being a lip balm aficionado...it's in my genes, remember? I would not be satisfied until jiggystick had the smoothest and most supreme attribute of any hand-crafted lip balm on the market.

We've had a blast soliciting visitors who dropped by to help with production; even Kelly, who is an actual chemist by occupation.

The labels have gone through several redesigns and reiterations as well. 

Designing new flavors has undoubtedly been the most fun. 

Knowing that we had a work in progress, we looked forward to each new innovation as a progression to perfection.  One of the most satisfying aspects to emerge with the jiggystick vision has been to memorialize children that have passed away much too soon. To date, we have been honored to be involved with Maddie Mango and Huckleberry Hike. 

Which brings jiggystick to the point of making the ultimate decision...go big or go home? 

Officially...jiggystick will be going BIG!

The jiggystick site has been completely redesigned thanks to amazing and talented professionals. Pop on over and take a peak. I think you will love it too!

Here is an excerpt from the section called "Our Purpose"...the vision behind the jiggystick product.

In memory of...

A beautiful spring day in March 2008 tragically changed our family forever.  Our adorable 15 year old daughter Jocie heartbreakingly passed away in a skiing accident in Northern Utah.  Only those that have experienced the dark mourning that comes with losing a child can understand the helpless, senseless, haunting feeling that follows you like a dark shadow.  As her father, I had this desire...an unquenchable thirst to somehow memorialize our beloved daughter. During this initial phase of mourning, for an unknown reason I became attracted to and started keeping bees. Observing a thriving, living, active colony of bees was both therapeutic and healing. I honestly believe the bees saved me.

In addition to delicious honey, my first harvest also produced a considerable amount of pure golden beeswax which intrigued me. Jocie who was well known by her nickname” Jiggy”, constantly carried a tube of lip balm with her.  And just like that…jiggystick was created!

When you are over visiting the newly designed site...make sure you check out the recipe section too.  I'll continue to add new ones, as I LOVE cooking with honey at my house!

We are streamlining our production by purchasing several "pipette-man" calibrated to correctly and completely fill each lip balm tube. We now own a label-application machine and we even have our own official jiggystick stamp. T-shirts are in the works and will be printed soon.

This week we have been busy working in the lab to contrive a dreamy and delicious winter scent...to be revealed soon! I can hardly wait to add it to Christmas stockings and packages. 

And for those of you who wonder why?

There are several reasons really...

-because our treasured daughter "Jiggy" lived her life with absolutely no regrets; loving every element of every detail of every day. Jiggystick lip balm immortalizes her legacy.

-because every day that I pass a red-haired child and my heart shatters all over again, I have something to focus my anguish on.

-because tragedy can befall anyone...and if it does, you too can persevere by defining your own jiggystick dream.

-because sometimes the life you live isn't the life you planned on.

-because the world could use a little bit of fun in the form of a lip balm.

-and finally because we envision becoming the Kleenex of tissues...the Xerox of copiers...and the jiggystick of lip balms. Go big or go home remember?

When reaching for a lip balm we want to hear..."Do you have any jiggystick!"

Gettin' Jiggy With It 2011

How did you spend your Jiggy Day...here is how The Garlick Press spent ours!

Traditionally, Jiggy Day begins with breakfast at Angie's restaurant and girlfriends. I imagine this Jiggy Day breakfast tradition will carry on for years...someday to include spouses and children!

All of these beautiful girls have started their freshman year of college...I'm just so proud of them!

Then it's a quick stop for roses and giant bags of candy...why giant bags of candy you ask? I don't know...it just seemed a good idea at the time. The agenda on Jiggy Day is whatever makes you happy and feel good!

After meeting up with our favorite little people Olivia and Henry...we pack EVERYBODY into the car and head out for a day filled with adventure.

We always visit the cemetery...it's a source of peace and comfort for all of us.

Olivia was fascinated by all of the items left by friends and family. We delight in finding wonderful surprises left for our girl.

Shhh...babies sleeping in the car...

Be very quiet.

Arriving at Beaver Mountain, the ski resort is under a blanket of fall snow and colorful leaves.

Bundling up babies and Daddy...

and Mama too!


Knowing when we left home, there was most likely snow at the top of the mountain...I encouraged everyone to dress warm and wear good hiking shoes. I knew we would most likely have to hike at least part of the way up to the monument. Apparently everyone listened to me but me...these are my open clogs...awesome for hiking in snow!

Olivia wriggled and wiggled out of her daddy's arms wanting to play in the snow.

Autumn weather likes to tease us here...throwing in a little early winter just to keep us on our toes.

As expected, we were able to drive most of the way to the top of the ski resort. But once the snow got too deep, we had to hike the rest of the way.

Nature is so incredible.

Baby girl Olivia could have sat in that snow all day and played and played...she loves snow!

And finally...a glimpse of Jocie's monument at the top. 

If you have a self-timer on your camera...you must learn how to use it, as I love this photo. Only the addition of lawyer girl would have made it better. Missed you Dione!


And it was so cold at the top...the chill in the air reminded me of ski weather.

By the way, it snows nearly every year on Jiggy Day...so I wouldn't plan an outdoor event on this day if you live by The Garlick Press.


Papa and Henry carefully make their way back down the steep summit trail to the warm car parked below.

I imagine Henry has no idea why we are at the top of a mountain in chilly weather...but someday he will!

It was Cassandra who suggested we attempt this adventure today...even though the snow and cold temperatures put the kibosh on our picnic at the top!

With inches of snow already on the ski slopes...Chet was getting pretty excited just thinking about using those new skis of his waiting at home.

Papa and Olivia attempt to make snow angels. It was hard for Olivia since she was basically wearing a sleeping bag...Baby in a Bag!

Told you she loves snow!

And while we were off hiking to the top of the mountain...girlfriends Sid, Lindsay, and Autumn had other plans for reaching great heights to celebrate Jiggy day.

They jumped out of an airplane! Can you believe that? Seriously...are they the most amazing girlfriends or what?

After their skydiving adventure, the girls couldn't wait to come tell us all about their high-flying antics through the clouds.

Jiggy day was a completely full day...with a few tears, but mostly tons of love! We basked in each other's memories of Jocie and celebrated a girl who celebrated life every single day of hers.