The Distinguished Advocate

So herewith let it be stated...that this post must be read with a pompous fake accent.

It was with great honor that we welcomed the distinguished advocate Lawyer Girl home for the holidays. Her visit consisted of movie watching moments, piano playing, pie making lessons, puzzle solving, skiing of extreme terrain, and sheer madness.

Using deliberate finesse (acquired during her first semester of law school) the distinguished advocate kicked off her winter break with a desire to expand her culinary skills and prowess. Setting her MacBook aside she donned the task of pie crust mastery. Nothing but success for the self titled "Pie maker's apprentice" would be acceptable. Precise rolling of the delicate pastry was involved.

The distinguished advocate was  sufficiently careful to use the tool only as a means to make a lattice crust so as not to be construed as assault with a deadly weapon.

It seems evidence points out that the distinguished advocate shows great promise in pie making as well as lawyering skills.

All parties involved had a mutual agreement to have an extensive fabulous time together.

It is implicit that all parties acted in good faith.

It is the court's opinion that the distinguished advocate's father entered into an implied employee contract with the advocate as Jiggy Sticks were made on the premise during the visit.

Furthermore let it be known, that the pooch Izzy may have been under duress when ordered by the distinguished advocate to wear fine Italian leather boots.

The advocate used all manner of cajoling and coercing the court into finishing the aforementioned puzzle until ridiculously late hours on the evening before her departure.

We the jury find that the distinguished advocate is guilty of being sorely missed by the court.